i still believe. -jeremy camp

reasons i still believe in God:

i turned on my playlist titled,

“love letters to God”

for the first time in years. 

the black and blue left on my heart from preachers

started to fade.

the notes rose up into praises,

my tears released the pain of sleepless nights

as they cleansed the lyrics falling from my lips.

reasons i stopped believing in god:

scripture verses are referred to as swords

more than they are referred to 

as songs.

one page of the bible

isn’t worth brains blown out by bullets of hate,

isn’t worth lives built on fear.

no god in his right mind

condemns love.

reasons i believe in Love:

strangers turn into family

and fill holes that were once terrifying chasms.

my best friend sings for me when my world is dark,

even though it makes his hands tremble while he picks the strings.

my big sister’s words may just be sounds

but i feel them like hugs.

when all i could see was endings,

a resounding i love you

made me put down my handful of pills.

my heart has been shattered over and over again

but still beats stronger.

looking into my future,

seeing my wife and i watching movies on the couch after putting our kids to sleep,

love wrapped around us like a blanket,

reminds me why i wake up in the morning.

our love is holy.

all love is holy.